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Today’s Episode: Songs that would summon me from the afterlife
I celebrated my 30th birthday on July 1st from here in Berlin, where I am currently occupying a table at a hotel lounge in Friedrichshain. I’ve spent the past two weeks sitting along the canal and painting, eating kebab, talking to strangers, and noticing where my mind goes in moments of solitude. And yes, I’m reading Olivia Laing.
In all this time for introspection, I have curated a list of “songs that made me.” I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to turn 30 without doing this, and the result was a messy, nearly 12-hour playlist of songs I insist have affected me to my core. These songs could transport me to 9th grade study hall or to the passenger seat of my brother’s beat up car as he fumbles with the aux cord. These songs could simultaneously be used to hypnotize me and snap me out of hypnosis, if that makes sense??
All of them are accompanied by an overwhelming sense of melancholia and an awareness of the unceremonious passage of time.
For the sake of today’s episode, I’ve picked 15 songs to allow myself time and space to dive into my lore, but the extended playlist will be slightly more generous.
This episode is incredibly frustrating. The tracklist is fraught with gaps, overlooking entire phases of my little life. This is devastating, for how will anyone truly get me if they don’t see Simple And Clean by Utada Hikaru, the Glee Cast version of Landslide, or the entirety of ARTPOP?? Like, I actually need an entire hour just to talk about Genie by Girls’ Generation.
Speaking as a small but lovable speck of dust in the universe, I wish it were possible to neatly package myself in a digestible “piece of content” for “internet audiences.” But as an artist, there is something satisfying about knowing it can’t be done. Diabolical, even. I have no choice but to spend the rest of my life filling in the blanks.
[Tracklist]
01 The High Party by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists (2003) / 02 The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie (2003) / 03 Being Bad Feels Pretty Good by Does It Offend You, Yeah? (2008) / 04 Pulling Our Weight by The Radio Dept. (2003) / 05 Texico Bitches by Broken Social Scene (2010) / 06 Eat That Up, It’s Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club / 07 Machu Picchu by The Strokes (2011) / 08 Heartbeat by Annie (2004) / 09 Domino Dancing by Pet Shop Boys (1988) / 10 The Real Thing by Phoenix (2013) / 11 Warm Blood by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015) / 12 Municipality by Real Estate (2011) / 13 Vivid Youth by The Pastels, Tenniscoats (2009) / 14 This Is The Day by The The (1983) / 15 Hard To Explain by The Strokes (2001)
[Extended Playlist]
Note: Most of my favorite songs from the past 5-7 years are not included here because they haven’t earned “Emotional Imprinting” status yet. Check back at 40.
[Links]
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The Birthday Mixtape ♡ HoF RADIO 006