This is House of Fun Radio, a monthly mixtape available on Substack and SoundCloud. ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
Today’s Episode: Songs for a 90s coffee shop, but gay
This autumn, it’s all about the 90s coffee shop lesbian. You know the vibes. She sits in that café on that big couch with an obnoxiously large coffee mug against a backdrop of brick walls and bohemian tapestries. She’s there for open mic night and will be performing a slam poem about world peace and the girl she met in art class. There is peace sign iconography everywhere and a bulletin board where she will find a deal on private piano lessons. There are no annoying people on laptops because the people are being annoying in other analog ways. Her life is good.
These days, coffee shops feel sterile and hostile. Minimalist design, harsh lights, little to no seating, and swarms of WFH folks buying $4 drip coffee so they can hoard a table for 8 hours. Thanks to this article, I realized what I’m describing is the loss of “Javacore”, a word I just learned yesterday that delights me to no end. The author writes:
“This shift in aesthetics represents a shift in purpose: many cafes are no longer physically set up to encourage conversation or getting too comfy.” (dwell, 2024)
I would say it’s even worse than that. Coffee shops aren’t just uncomfortable. They have ceased to be the breeding ground of hormonal sexual energy that they once were. Where is the unbridled horniness that can only be found in a local artist’s disturbing series of oil paintings, currently on sale in the back? Who is experiencing a genuine meet cute while adding soy milk to their to-go cup? Once upon a time, a hot stranger on a laptop meant they were penning the next great American novel. These days, if you’re lucky, they are pretending to write while watching Youtube Shorts on desktop. The men aren’t even singing Wonderwall anymore. We used to be a proper country.
More than ever, we need the return of the 90s coffee shop lesbian. She was our toughest soldier and will carry us into the future with her songs of profound gay longing. Her heart is worn on her sleeve, and she dares to let her art be guttural and cringe, free of algorithmic influence. Her words will make you confront your own feelings in a way that scares you.
That’s what today’s show is—a curated hour of songs that remind us what the season is all about. Autumn is about death and rebirth. It’s about reflection and confronting the beautiful ugliness inside of us. As someone who spends more time than she’d like to admit numbing her senses with screens, I need the 90s coffee shop lesbian in order to get back in touch with myself.
I’ve intentionally picked songs you will remember, sung by lesbians or honorary lesbians of a bygone era. These are songs meant to transport you to another time, maybe your own local coffee shop or, if you’re me, a suburban JC Penny. I hope they remind you of a time when you felt everything.
[Tracklist]
01 I Try by Macy Gray (1999) / 02 These Are Day by 10,000 Maniacs (1992) / 03 32 Flavors by Ani DiFranco (1995) / 04 Kind & Generous by Natalie Merchant (1998) / 05 I Don’t Want To Wait by Paula Cole (1996) / 06 Constant Craving by k.d. lang (1992) / 07 Sunny Came Home by Shawn Colvin (1996) / 08 Power Of Two by Indigo Girls (1994) / 09 Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel (1995) / 10 One Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morissette (1995) / 11 Oh Marie by Sheryl Crow (1996) / 12 Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple (1996) / 13 In This Hole by Cat Power (1996) / 14 Fast Car by Tracy Chapman (1988) / 15 Don’t Know Why by Norah Jones (2002)
[Playlist]
Special shoutout to my dear friend Allegra who originally helped me curate this list last year. We really cooked here, she and I.
[Links]
TikTok ♡ Spotify ♡ Instagram ♡ Letterboxd
Return of the 90s coffee shop lesbian ♡ HoF RADIO 007